dimanche 15 avril 2012
Is hope the last thing that gets lost?
And what about illusion?
Where do the lost illusions of the people spend their last days?
There will be perhaps a kind of horrible geriatric where they end up dying?
Teen illusions that now are old and obsolete with catheter and without teeth, as grandparents without family that they continue primping themselves every December 25th , hoping that someone comes to take them at the door of this hell reserved fot those who already cannot think about the future anymore.
It´s been more than a week stopping in this green, blurry and almost deformed spot that has been living in the mouth of my stomach for more of ten years.
I almost had forgotten it, and that´s still sad.
The reason to getting tattooed was undoubtedly to don´t forget it.
Promises to myself that didn´t keep.
I´ll never forget that important thing, i´ll never forget that important thing...
The illusion and the fantasy are the most important food of my soul.
I was repeating this insistently to myself that time; 14 years old and i already had been concious that some day i´d forget it!!
If not, why getting tattooed for the rest of your life?
Just to remember it.
Finally i think it was a kind of warning to myself more than a simple reminder.
Don´t forget it, never forget this, because i f you do, you´ll be lost.
I know you, it´s yourself who say it.
I´m not concious when it happened, it seems like one day you wake up and all the sudden it´s not there...
The illusion, the fantasy, definetly the faith in something that you cannot see.As grandparents who take care of you your whole life...
Suddenly one day you recognize they are not with you anymore...
It´s something that overcomes you, because you don´t know if it´s recoverable or if the memories will be sufficient.
But as i started saying,is hope the last thing that gets lost?
If you lose the fear, the hopes return?
I lost the fear of the dear being death and when i lost it, he returned!!
He returned from the hospital where the illusions die, to give us a lesson i guess...
Come on!! to recover the illusion again!!
Is it possible to get tired of recovering and losing and return to recover it?
It´s a classic dance that accompanies us during our whole life.
It bores,spoils,cheers up... it revitalizes,bores,makes happy,spoils...
I suppose that always at any moment, i´ll return to look at my belly bottom even when it´ll be wrinkled and i´ll see close to it the green spot that will remember and warn me, that what i knew when i was 14.
And finally that´s just hope.